The movie "Inside Out Two" delves deep into the complex world of emotions, presenting a powerful narrative that resonates with both children and adults. Here are some lessons from the film that can help families develop emotional literacy and regulation:
Lesson 1: The Words You Say to Yourself Matter
"Inside Out Two" highlights the profound impact of self-talk. Phrases like "I'm a good person" can shape our self-perception and influence our emotions and actions. Research in psychology underscores the power of positive self-talk in enhancing emotional well-being and resilience.
Next time you make a mistake, instead of saying, "I'm so stupid," try saying, "I made a mistake, but I'm learning." Notice how this shift in language makes you feel. Encourage your children to do the same by modelling positive self-talk and gently correcting negative self-statements they might make.
Reflection Question: How often do you listen to your self-talk? What do you notice about the words you use to describe yourself?
Lesson 2: Emotions are Big, Loud, Messy, and Unpredictable—And That’s Okay
The movie teaches us that it's natural for emotions to be intense and unpredictable. Rather than bottling them up, we should acknowledge and explore them. Emotional regulation is not about suppressing feelings but understanding and managing them.
If your child is having a tantrum, instead of telling them to stop crying, help them name their emotions. Say, "I see you're really upset. Can you tell me what's making you feel this way?" This validation helps them understand that it's okay to feel and express their emotions.
Reflection Question: How do you usually respond to your emotions? Do you judge them, or do you allow yourself to feel and explore them?
Lesson 3: Take Time to Check-In and Build Self-Awareness
Building self-awareness is crucial for emotional regulation. The movie encourages us to regularly check in with our bodies and emotions.
Set aside a few minutes each day for a family "emotion check-in." Ask each member to share how they are feeling and where they feel it in their body. This practice can help everyone become more attuned to their emotional and physical states.
Reflection Question: When was the last time you checked in with your body and emotions? What did you notice?
Lesson 4: Surround Yourself with People Who Accept You
Supportive relationships are essential for emotional well-being. Being around people who accept you as you are can significantly impact your mental health.
Notice where you and your family feel most at ease and authentic. It might be during family dinners, game nights, or when spending time with close friends. Make an effort to increase these interactions and create a supportive environment.
Reflection Question: Who in your life makes you feel accepted and valued? How can you spend more time with these people?
Lesson 5: Use Your Senses as Anchors
Using your senses to ground yourself can help regulate emotions. Sensory experiences can be powerful tools for staying present and calm.
During a stressful moment, try grounding techniques like focusing on your breath, feeling the texture of an object, or listening to soothing music. Teach these techniques to your children as well.
Reflection Question: What sensory experiences help you feel grounded and calm? How can you incorporate them into your daily routine?
Lesson 6: Our Feelings and Thoughts Are Usually Trying to Protect Us
Our emotions and thoughts often serve as protective mechanisms. Recognising this can shift how we respond to them.
If you feel anxious before a big event, acknowledge that this anxiety might be trying to prepare you for possible challenges. Instead of pushing it away, ask yourself what you can do to feel more prepared and supported.
Reflection Question: Can you identify a recent emotion or thought that was trying to protect you? How did you respond to it?
Lesson 7: You Are Good Enough
Perfection is an illusion, and even the most seemingly put-together person has flaws. Embracing our imperfections can lead to greater self-acceptance and emotional well-being.
Share stories with your children about times when you made mistakes or felt imperfect. Show them that it's okay to be flawed and that these experiences are part of being human and are opportunities for growth.
Reflection Question: What imperfections do you struggle to accept in yourself?
How can you start to embrace them?
Lesson 8: Seek Out Joy
Actively seeking joy can enhance emotional well-being and resilience. Positive psychology research shows that cultivating positive emotions leads to a more fulfilling life.
Create a family joy list. Write down activities that bring each family member joy, like playing a favourite game, going for a walk, or cooking together. Make time for these activities regularly.
Reflection Question: What brings you joy? How can you make more time for these activities in your daily life?
Lesson 9: Self-Compassion is the Best Tool for Dealing with Tough Emotions
Accepting uncomfortable emotions can be challenging, but self-compassion offers a science-backed way to handle them. Strong emotions can sometimes overwhelm us, leading to actions and feelings we’re not proud of.
When you or your child experience a tough emotion, practice self-compassion by saying, "It's okay to feel this way. Everyone feels this sometimes. What can we do to take care of ourselves right now?"
Reflection Question: How do you treat yourself when you experience difficult emotions? How can you incorporate more self-compassion into your responses?
Cultivate Emotional Intelligence to Enhance Family Life
If you want to strengthen your family's bond, enhance emotional understanding, and develop an efficient regulation toolkit:
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For those ready to commit to transforming family life, I offer personalised coaching programs tailored to your needs. Choose between a 3-month or 6-month program to receive:
Calming the Chaos: Strategies to manage and reduce family stress and conflict.
Building Resilient Children: Techniques to help your children develop strong emotional regulation and a positive self-image.
Fostering Self-Compassion: Guidance on cultivating self-compassion and authenticity within your family.
Program Details
3-Month Program:
Bi-weekly one-on-one coaching sessions
Customised action plans and resources
Email support for ongoing questions and guidance
Access to exclusive resources
6-Month Program:
Bi-weekly one-on-one coaching sessions
Deep-dive personalised action plans and resources
Priority email support for ongoing questions and guidance
Monthly progress reviews to ensure you are on track and to adjust strategies as needed
Personalised mindfulness and emotional regulation exercises for both parents and children
Comprehensive family assessment at the beginning and end of the program to measure growth and areas of improvement
Special focus sessions on topics such as starting school, managing expectations of Christmas, sibling rivalry, school-related stress, and technology use.
By the end of the program, you can expect to see:
Improved Family Communication: Develop open and effective communication channels within your family, fostering trust and understanding.
Enhanced Emotional Regulation: Equip your children with tools to manage their emotions constructively, reducing emotional outbursts.
Increased Self-Awareness: Cultivate a deeper understanding of your own emotions and reactions, leading to better self-management and emotional balance.
Stronger Family Bonds: Build a supportive and cohesive family unit where each member feels valued and connected.
Positive Self-Image in Children: Help your children develop healthy self-esteem and a positive self-concept, empowering them to face challenges with confidence.
Greater Resilience: Foster resilience in both parents and children, enabling your family to navigate life's challenges with strength and adaptability.
Effective Conflict Resolution: Learn and implement strategies to resolve family conflicts peacefully and constructively.
Increased Joy and Fulfillment: Create a family environment where joy and positive experiences are prioritised, leading to a happier and more fulfilling family life.
Mindfulness and Presence: Incorporate mindfulness practices into daily routines, helping family members stay present and reduce stress.
After 6 months together a client commented,
"I grew up with an idealistic idea of what family life should look like. Realising and accepting that anything can be right, if it's right for us, felt really liberating. Since then, finding our feet as a family of three has been more fun." SR, Cambridge
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