This week you will be receiving your Primary School places. There could be several emotions as you begin to think about your child going to school. Maybe this is your first experience or maybe the youngest child is making that transition and there will be no more preschoolers in the house!
Starting Primary School is a significant milestone for both children and parents.
Preparing ahead of time is vital to ensure a smooth transition.
Here are some tips for managing the emotions around Primary School Allocation Day:
Get organised and understand the admissions criteria:
It's been a while since you applied for the school places and perhaps you are unsure about the login details or how the information will be delivered to you, finding this information now will help you on the day. Having relevant phone numbers on hand for the local authority or the school, just in case there is something you need to follow up on. Familiarise yourself with the school allocation process in your area. Understand the criteria used for admissions and how places are allocated. This will give you a better understanding of why your child may not have been allocated to your preferred school.
Give yourself space to process the information:
Before talking to your child, give yourself space to absorb the new information. Maybe the allocation is as you expected but maybe not. Seeing the school allocation could be a cause for celebration or bring up worries about how you'll navigate this next step. Allowing yourself time to sit with whatever feelings you have and notice what they might be signalling. Journalling is a great tool to get all those thoughts and feelings out of your head and look at them from a different perspective. Taking time to process whatever you are feeling increases the capacity you have to support your child.
You might like to use some of these prompts:
Reflect on your own experiences starting school. How do they shape your feelings about your child starting school?
Describe your hopes and expectations for your child's journey in school.
What are your concerns or fears about your child starting school? How can you address or mitigate them?
Write about the ways you plan to support and encourage your child as they transition into school life.
Consider the role of communication between you and your child's teachers. How do you plan to foster a positive relationship with them?
Reflect on any rituals or traditions you'd like to establish to mark the beginning of each school year.
Explore how you can prioritise your self-care and well-being during this period of adjustment for both you and your child.
Remember to take care of yourself during this transition period. It's natural to feel anxious or emotional, but practising self-care, connecting with others and asking for help will help you stay grounded and support your child.
If you have not received your preferred school:
Stay Positive and Flexible: While it's natural to feel disappointed, try to maintain a positive attitude and get clear on your priorities. Remember that there are many excellent Primary Schools, and your child can still receive a quality education regardless of which school they attend. Whilst not ideal, you might be able to appeal, be awarded a space in the next few months or manage a transition mid-year.
Check the Waiting List: In many cases, Local Authorities maintain waiting lists for children who were not initially allocated a place. Contact the admissions office to inquire about their waiting list process and your child's position on the list. Make sure your child's name is added to the list if not already.
Consider Alternative Options: Explore alternative Primary School options in your area. Research other schools that have availability or different admission criteria. Visit these schools to get a sense of their culture to see if they could be a good fit for your child.
Appeal the Decision: Depending on the admissions process in your area, you may have the option to appeal the decision, maybe you feel there were errors or extenuating circumstances that warrant reconsideration. Follow the instructions provided by the admissions authority on how to submit an appeal.
Sharing the news!
Transition starts as soon as you share this news with your child.
Talk to your child: Discuss school in a positive light, highlighting the fun experiences and learning opportunities your child will have.
These books offer engaging stories and positive messages to help children navigate the transition to school with confidence and excitement.
Starting School by Janet Ahlberg and Allan Ahlberg - This classic picture book follows the experiences of a group of children as they start school, addressing common concerns and showcasing the fun aspects of the school day.
I Am Too Absolutely Small for School by Lauren Child - In this charming story from the "Charlie and Lola" series, Lola is nervous about starting school, but her big brother Charlie helps her overcome her fears with humour and encouragement.
Topsy and Tim Start School by Jean Adamson and Gareth Adamson - Topsy and Tim are beloved characters in children's literature, and in this book, they share their experiences of starting school, helping children understand what to expect in a friendly and relatable way.
The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn - This heartwarming story is about a young raccoon named Chester who is anxious about starting school. His mother shares a special family tradition, the kissing hand, to reassure him of her love even when they're apart.
Lulu Goes to School by Anna McQuinn and Rosalind Beardshaw - Lulu is excited to start school, but she's also a bit nervous. With the support of her family and the anticipation of new friends and activities, she discovers that school is a place of fun and learning.
Listen and Validate Emotions: Understand that your child may experience a range of emotions, including excitement, nervousness, and even fear. Listen to their concerns and validate their feelings, offering reassurance and support.
The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside - In this story, a young girl named Jenny carries around a bag of worries that grows bigger and bigger. With the help of a friendly neighbour, she learns to share her worries and lighten her load, emphasising the importance of talking about emotions.
Ruby's Worry by Tom Percival - When Ruby discovers a worry that follows her everywhere, she learns that sharing her feelings with others can help lighten the load. This book teaches children about the power of communication and the importance of addressing worries before they become overwhelming.
The Way I Feel by Janan Cain - Through colourful illustrations and simple language, this book explores a range of emotions, from happiness and excitement to sadness and anger. It encourages children to recognise and express their feelings in healthy ways.
Silly Billy by Anthony Browne - Billy worries about everything, from big things to small things. But when he receives a set of worry dolls from his grandmother, he learns to share his worries and creatively cope with them. This book promotes resilience and problem-solving skills in the face of anxiety.
"The Invisible String" by Patrice Karst - While not directly about starting school, this book is excellent for discussing feelings of separation anxiety. It reassures children that even when they're apart from loved ones, they're still connected by an invisible string of love.
These books offer valuable lessons and tools for children to develop emotional literacy, helping them recognise, understand, and manage their feelings in healthy ways.
Start making connections:
Help your child develop social skills by arranging playdates with classmates or participating in school events before the school year starts. This can help them feel more comfortable interacting with peers. Before the school year begins, take your child to visit the school. Familiarise yourselves with the layout, classrooms, and playground. This can help alleviate anxiety on the first day.
Build skills:
Help your child become confident to take their next steps by practising key skills to promote independence. These might include dressing, using a knife and fork or managing their own toileting needs.
For further help :
Join for FREE Smooth Transitions support over the next few months. Find resources to help your children grow in skills, confidence and independence. www.facebook.com/groups/findingjoyamongstthechaos/
Parents who have joined in previous years say,
"We've started journaling together each night to help us identify our emotions and think about positive things that have happened in the day. It's been great for both of us."
"...this is such a helpful reminder to take things slowly and at the pace our children need. Thank you."
Work 1:1 with me
Coaching parents to support their child's transition into Primary/ Secondary School or making changes mid-year has been proven to significantly impact well-being and self-confidence.
One parent commented, "I wish we'd done it sooner!"
Another, "I genuinely don't think we could have navigated the last six months without Jo's help! I particularly valued having the support of someone who really empathised with the journey."
"... just having a plan and different options to try allowed me to think about the solutions rather than fixating on the problem."
Invest £900 for 6 months of support. You will receive 12 x 1:1 coaching sessions, email support and tools in between sessions to ensure both you and your child have a Smooth Transition.
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