Christmas can be full on, those sparkly lights, endless to do lists, unpredictable routines, shows, entertaining family and friends and a serious dose of 'comparison-itus' can leave us feeling overwhelmed, dissatisfied and even resentful.
Here are my top tips for thriving through the festive season by hacking our happy hormones, rewiring our brains to look for the good, enjoying the present, and letting go of the things we can't control.
Get a plan- What can you ditch? I love a good brain dump and often use the tool Do, Ditch or Delegate (delay it) strategy. With all of the postal strikes this year so many friends are ditching Christmas cards (I wish I'd thought of that before buying 72 of the children's school creations!) How can you focus all you energies on those things that will help you to have a regulated Christmas?
Get moving- We all know of the benefits of movement to our mood, health and resilience. How can you keep moving your body over the festive period? What might that look like when you have a busy young family or you are travelling a lot? What might it look like on the days you want to curl up and hibernate? Highly energetic children still need those regular intense bursts of rigorous exercise to keep regulated.
Get sensory- Tune into your family sensory preferences. Sometimes Christmas can feel overwhelming because of the intense sensory input.
How do bright lights, loud music or hot crowded busy spaces feel? If those types of places increase the overwhelm and dysregulation, what could you do to reduce time spent in them?
Do you need to decorate every room in the house? Can you find quiet safe spaces to take a break when the sensory overwhelm becomes too great?
Can you make space for regulating activities like heavy work, breathing exercises and frequent high intensity exercise before going into a potentially overwhelming situation.
What do you find overwhelming?
What do you find soothing?
How can you use this knowledge to help build capacity or shift emotional states?
Get out into nature- Research has found as little as 20 minutes a day can have a profound impact on the way we feel. What do you notice when you are outside? How does your body feel?
Benefits of being outside include:
Increased feelings of calmness
Increased endorphin levels and dopamine production (promotes happiness)
Restored capacity for concentration and attention
Reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression
Reduced irritability
Lowered blood pressure and reduced cortisol (stress hormone)
Reduced feelings of isolation
Which benefits might help you thrive this Christmas?
How would these benefits help you parent in the way you'd like to during this period?
Get visual- If you have children, especially those with additional need, creating a visual timetable or timeline for the festive period can provide a sense of control and predictability. Add as much or little detail as required. If mealtimes can be a challenge get little ones involved in planning the festive meals and put them on the schedule so they know what to expect.
Get connected- Who do you want to spend time with? Who makes you feel good? Where can you really relax? How can you see more of those people over the festive period and less of those who set you on edge?
Can you find ways to mix it up and pair activities; find time to walk along the beach with a good friend. Have a kitchen dance party in the dark with glo sticks. Build dens in the woods. What would you choose?
If you'd like to spend time looking at ways to decrease that sense of overwhelm and dysregulation in your self or home as we start 2023, i'd love to offer you a free discovery call to see how coaching can help. Jo@theearlyyearscoach.com
Check out what my clients have said:
"I found Jo’s coaching approach down to earth, very practical and reflective. I’m not great at talking about things I find difficult, but Jo gave me the space and opportunity to reflect on my hopes for family life, navigating returning to work after 6 years of being a FTSAHM, and specific challenges of parenting a child with additional needs." RC, Cambridge
I think the main highlight was realising I didn’t need to parent my children for the approval of others and having permission to prioritise our family needs.
"I've had six 1:1 coaching sessions with Jo and after every session, a little piece of me came back. She listened and created a safe space for me to explore my situation and helped me challenge some of my mal cognitions. She gave me the tools to listen and trust myself again and helped me to understand the things I do well and my areas for development." CM, Cambridge
"I think a lot of the 'lost'' and 'overwhelmed' feelings came from not having the confidence to set boundaries and lead/ make decisions. Learning to set boundaries in terms of time and in terms of emotional involvement has really helped. You have been a great sounding board and have validated a lot of feelings that I had dismissed as weakness. You have asked some great questions that have made me reframe my thinking e.g. 'what would success look like?' I had been feeling like I wasn't making progress or being successful without considering what my markers for success were. SS, Cambridge
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