Whether you are starting school, changing year groups or starting swimming lessons, transitions are hard!
Transitions are happening all day everyday.
Some you might find easier and others harder.
Some you can plan for and others might take you by surprise.
He’s a quick round up of my summer challenge #SmoothTransitions which has been taking place in my facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/findingjoyamongstthechaos/
Talk about transitions.
Talking about transitions is a great way to find out what is worrying your child, help them identify the help they need and to get a plan. Often this can be easier for the bigger transitions like moving house, starting a new class, moving between newly separated parents or going away on brownie camp for the first time. I don’t know about you, but I find transitions tricky too. I can feel the overwhelm starting to creep in and I become grumpy, snappy, unsettled, my sleep suffers and then I feel even less capable of being able to tackle a new challenge. It’s helpful that our children know these are tricky times for us too. It is ok to feel unsettled around points of change. Talking about it normalises it and helps everyone know that they can ask for help. If you are not sure where to start, books are a great way to introduce something new. Check out my suggestions
Develop emotional literacy. To be able to talk about transitions we need to start working on our own and our children’s emotional awareness and vocabulary. In very young children feelings are often a physical sensation. Help to support them to listen to these sensations. Talk about them, describing them and trying to explore what they might be. You could then try adding a label, ‘ Is this a sad feeling?’. You might narrate what you can see, ‘ You just threw your toy down and stomped your foot. I wonder if you are feeling frustrated?’ Check out these books https://fb.watch/e3KZMetQ3D/ or this activity https://fb.watch/e3M4xZeXy6/
Use visuals. Visuals are a great way to help children prepare for something new. Often getting out of the house in the morning can be a real challenge. How many different transitions is your child having to make before they even get to the door? Some they will easily move between, others might cause anxiety or a meltdown. What do you notice in your home? Which transitions are challenging?
Have you tried using timers, visual timetables and now/ next boards to help your child understand what needs to be completed and what they need to do next? We have just printed out our summer chart. It clearly shows where the summer holidays start and when school begins again. Having these visual scaffolds can help our children feel safe. They can see when this transition is going to take place and that it won't take them by surprise.
Sensory Stories and Social Stories are a great strategy too. Getting photographs of the new routine to go to school or how to manage the lunch hall can be so helpful.
Work on new skills together. In the Transition Wheel, I highlighted self care skills you might like to work on together to promote independence when they start school. Our children progress at their own rate so don’t be alarmed if your child is still struggling with some of these skills. They might need help dressing, cutting up food or managing their toileting needs. The summer is a great time to playfully explore some of those skills. You might even like to try learning something new alongside them. How does it feel when you learn something new? What help might you need?
Create safe spaces.
Building a strong connection with your child over the summer is a great way to prepare them to explore the world without you in September. Can you find ways to have 5 minutes of really quality connection each day where you talk, laugh or are playful. Notice what happens!
Your child might like to create a calm quiet space in the house where they can come home and decompress and replenish after a busy day of school. What might it look like for your child? Try and tap into their sensory preferences. Would they like a small space filled with cushions and blankets with soft lighting or do they need a safe space they can swing, hang upside down, bash and crash.
Starting school, moving house or dealing with constant micro transitions can be stressful and overwhelming. How can you create space in a busy day, week or term. Can you create space to check in. What do they need? How can you go slow? When you do that difference does that make to family life?
Limit the number of demands.
At times of transition there can often be lots of big feelings, resilience might be lower and we need to show ourselves and our children some compassion. If getting out of the door is challenging, how can you make it as easy as possible? What actions or thinking can you do on their behalf so they need to do as little as possible? As they build their capacity, confidence and resilience back you can remove some of that support.
Meet their basic needs:
“You cannot remove struggle from life, but you can improve your ability to handle challenge.” James Clear
One of the best ways to increase your ability to handle any transition is by meeting your basic needs.
Do a quick audit for your child or yourself:
Am I rested?
Am I hydrated?
Am I fed?
Am I safe?
Am I too warm/ too cold?
When our basic needs are met we have reserves to draw on when things don't go our way or if feels a little scary.
How can you help your child tune into what their body is telling them so they can harness this superpower to build their resilience whilst going through this period of transition.
If you would like further support through this transition:
Download my Wheel of Transition. Where are you thriving? Which areas could do with a closer look? What do you already have in place? What could you try?
Check out the posts in https://www.facebook.com/groups/findingjoyamongstthechaos/
Search #SmoothTransitions
Book in a discovery call to see if I can help Jo@Theearlyyearscoach.com
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