Self-advocacy is an essential skill for all children, especially those with ADHD. Teaching our children to understand and voice their needs not only helps them thrive but also fosters a sense of independence and confidence. Here’s how we can guide them on this journey:
Understanding ADHD
The first step in empowering our children to self-advocate is helping them understand ADHD. Explain to them what ADHD is and how it affects their brain, body, emotions, thoughts and actions. Use simple, age-appropriate language to describe how their experience might be different from others. Encourage them to see ADHD not just as a challenge, but also as a unique way of experiencing the world.
Recognising Strengths and Challenges
Help your child identify their strengths and challenges. Celebrate their successes and acknowledge the areas where they might need extra support. This awareness is crucial for them to understand what they need and how to ask for it. Encourage them to see that everyone has different strengths and challenges, and that’s okay.
Asking for Needs to Be Met
Teach your child that it’s okay to ask for their needs to be met. At home, this can start with tuning into their bodies and emotions. Partner with them in this process by commenting on what you notice or doing tasks together. This can help them explore their identity and needs in a supportive environment.
Practicing Gentle Communication
Get talking about their needs and practice asking for support in a confident, non-confrontational way. Make sure you are really listening to them and not invalidating their experiences. Use phrases like, “Tell me more,” and “What can I do to help?” to encourage open communication.
Advocating Outside the Home
Once your child feels comfortable self-advocating at home, start exploring how they can advocate outside of the home. Support them in understanding that their voice matters. Encourage them to ask for support from teachers, coaches, or other adults. Support them to notice where they might need help e.g prioritising tasks, managing their emotions, or breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks.
Free Tool to Get Started
To help you begin this journey, I’m offering a free tool to start collating some of your child's needs and strategies. This tool will assist you in identifying key areas where your child can benefit from support and how to address them effectively.
Tailored Support for Your Unique Family Needs
For further tailored support, consider investing in 1:1 coaching with me. I offer personalised coaching over 3 or 6 months to address the unique needs of your family and help your child thrive. Together, we can develop strategies and tools that work best for your specific situation.
Empowering children with ADHD to self-advocate is a gradual process that requires patience and encouragement. By helping them understand their unique experiences, recognise their strengths and challenges, and ask for their needs to be met, we can support them in becoming confident, independent individuals.
Here's a parent reflecting on her 6 months coaching,
"Right now, our son has gone from not being able to cope with school and having to be withdrawn for certain lessons, to being back in school on a full timetable. The difference between then and now, is that he has support and we've been able to help school see things in a different light, while staying on the same team! Jo's coaching and perspective helped us get ready for meetings with the teaching team and the EHCP team from the council, and helped give us clarity about how to best advocate on our son's behalf. Because he feels more supported, our son is better able to trust the team around him and start pro-actively asking for time to regulate, alerting teachers to when he needs help, and even trying some calming strategies himself. His learning support worker (who used to be the TA in his classroom) has noticed a marked decrease in signs of stress and anxiety in him when he's at school. Jo has been a huge part of that transformation from anxious child only one step away from not coping, to a child who is much more regulated and has significantly more emotional resilience."
Remember, their voice matters, and with the right tools and support, they can thrive both at home and in the wider world.
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