As we prepare for a new school year, do you feel the pressure to ensure your children are set up for success? It's important to remember that success isn't solely about academic achievements. It's about fostering a supportive, collaborative environment where your child feels heard, valued, and empowered.
Rather than approaching the school year with a top-down mentality, consider embracing the idea of partnering with your child to navigate the challenges and opportunities ahead.
Shifting from Control to Collaboration
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we, as parents, have all the answers. However, a top-down approach, where we dictate how things should go, can create anxiety, resistance, and even conflict. Instead, consider the benefits of partnering with your child. By working together, you can reduce anxiety, foster respect, and build a stronger connection. This collaboration also sets the stage for a more empowering and supportive environment, where everyone feels safe to express themselves.
Building a Strong Foundation: Key Steps
Check-In: What Does Your Child Value?
Start by having an open conversation with your child about their hopes and goals for the academic year. Ask specific questions: What are they excited about? What are they worried about? Understanding their priorities will help you align your support with what matters most to them.
Redefine Your Role: Companion, Consultant, Coach
Shift your role from being the one with all the answers to being a supportive companion, a knowledgeable consultant, or a coach. Be available to share your wisdom and guidance, but ultimately empower your child to make their own choices. Remind them: "I'm on your team, but you make the decisions."
Create Agreements Together
Collaboratively create a plan for the school year, capturing it visually to make it tangible. Be specific about expectations, responsibilities, and goals. Remember, plans can change, so be intentional but flexible.
Regular Check-Ins: Is It Working?
Schedule weekly check-ins to discuss how things are going. Is the plan working? What needs tweaking? Where do they need support? These check-ins help keep everyone on the same page and provide an opportunity to make adjustments as needed.
Prepare for “Uh-Oh” Moments
Life doesn’t always go as planned, and that’s okay. Discuss potential challenges in advance and brainstorm backup plans. Knowing there’s a plan B can reduce stress and build resilience.
Questions to Ask Your Child (and Yourself)
What are your priorities this term? e.g., connecting with friends, improving in a specific subject or skill.
What do you want to let go of this term?
What are you grateful for this term?
What does success look like for our family this autumn?
How do you want to feel this term?
Taking Care of Yourself
Remember, your well-being is just as important as your child’s. To show up in the way your child needs, you must also take care of yourself. Prioritise self-care so you can be present, patient, and supportive throughout the school year.
Tailored Support for Your Family
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain about how to approach this school year, consider personalised coaching. Book a FREE discovery call.
Working with a coach can help you:
Conquer Overwhelm: Develop a tailored family plan that works for everyone.
Smooth Transitions: Use proven tools and techniques to create a supportive home environment.
Emotional Regulation: Implement strategies to ensure calm and constructive interactions.
Communication Skills: Enhance your ability to effectively communicate with teachers and school staff.
Address Lagging Skills: Identify and address areas where your child may need extra support.
Build Confidence: Leverage your child’s strengths to foster resilience and self-assurance.
Support Self-Advocacy: Help your child develop the skills to speak up for themselves.
Here’s Emily’s reflection on working together for 6 months:
“Jo helped me sort out what was urgent, where I could make helpful changes, and the areas I could (or could not!) have some control over. It really helped to be able to chat things through on a regular basis, especially given Jo's experience in a school setting and as a parent as well. She was really able to help me see a challenge from lots of different perspectives.
Right now, our son has gone from not being able to cope with school and having to be withdrawn for certain lessons, to being back in school on a full timetable. The difference between then and now is that he has support, and we've been able to help the school see things in a different light while staying on the same team! Jo's coaching and perspective helped us prepare for meetings with the teaching team and the EHCP team from the council, and gave us clarity about how to best advocate on our son's behalf. Because he feels more supported, our son is better able to trust the team around him and has started pro-actively asking for time to regulate, alerting teachers when he needs help, and even trying some calming strategies himself. His learning support worker (who used to be the TA in his classroom) has noticed a marked decrease in signs of stress and anxiety in him when he's at school. Jo has been a huge part of that transformation—from an anxious child, only one step away from not coping, to a child who is much more regulated and has significantly more emotional resilience.”
Every family is different, with unique needs and preferences. I support you to stay on the same team as your child, so you can reduce anxiety, foster mutual respect, and set the stage for a successful school year. Remember to stay flexible, keep the lines of communication open, and prioritise connection over control. Together, you can create a positive, empowering environment where everyone feels heard and valued. Here's to a strong start this September!
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