How can you be the best you? Whether parent or practitioner, you are pivotal. You set the emotional tone and can be a regulating force. Your own physical and mental well being are key to enable you to parent or effectively carry out your job. Your emotional state determines how you work in your team and carry out the day to day interactions with colleagues or your children.
You see, if you don’t that balance right, you don't prioritise your needs, you get burn out, compassion fatigue sets in, anxiety and overwhelm take over. You've felt it. You’ve seen it. Anxiety is contagious, it quickly spreads as we transfer our emotional state onto others .It often creates that tension, those vibes in the air. There’s unpredictability, you start to question yourself or your spouse. You doubt others' motives. You can often feel a ‘vibe’ in a setting or a home. Our children feel it too.
But, if you get the balance right, meeting our own needs first, you are at ‘ease’ and are in your ‘flow’. Then you have capacity, and openness, and the ability to tune into others and meet their needs. Where there is calm, ease and regulation, that's contagious too! You can share your calm. You can co-regulate and help colleagues, children and families shift their emotional state.
So let's think about you, what action can you take?
1. Increase your self awareness:
Both as parents and Practitioners we need heightened self awareness. When you open your eyes, what pops into your mind? When you arrive for work in the morning, how are you feeling? Likewise, at the end of each day, what do we need to shift out of a work mode and ensure we have capacity for our children as we collect them from school or daycare?
You might like to try these exercises.
Scaling: Draw a horizontal line and write 1-10. 1 being at ease and 10 being overwhelmed. Where are you right now? Try to use gut instinct.
What’s going on? What would make you shift down a point or two? What help do you need? What barriers prevent you taking action?
Body scanning: Get into a comfortable position, close your eyes and focus on you. Take a few deep breaths. Feel the weight of your body sink into the chair or the floor. Then turn your attention to your body. Slowly scan from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. As you shift between body parts linger for a minute. How does that part feel? Is it tense, relaxed, achey…. How strong is that sensation?
What are your hands doing?
What is your jaw like?
Notice your breathing.
What do you feel and where do you feel it?
2. Develop our own emotional intelligence:
I know a lot of my clients talked about how ‘stressed’ they are, but what does that really mean? Dr Mark Brackett, in his book Permission to Feel, talks about 100 emotion words. How many are you using? Can you press into those stressed feelings and unpick what might be at the root of it. What am I stressed about? What is the actual emotion that I'm feeling?
Then try and develop awareness of how you think or act in that state. Ask yourself, what are my behaviours like when I am in that place? Often, we might have a tendency to catastrophize, become snappy, jump to conclusions about others motives or become inflexible. Our minds can be hijacked by doubt, our inner critic is loud and we question everything and everyone.
How does your body feel? Do you struggle to breathe or find your palms get sweaty? Does your heart race or your tummy fill with butterflies?
Learn to both listen but also value those feelings, they are our warning system. Our emotions often signal to us we need to slow down and check in with ourselves. Then take action because if left unchecked, they can become overwhelming.
Take Action: Stop right now, how much capacity do you have? Do you need to show yourself some compassion and kindness? MHFA England talk about the 5 ways to mental wellbeing. Today, how can you take action to reduce your overwhelm and build your capacity?
Why not:
Take notice and be present . What brings you joy?
Connect
Exercise
Learn something
Give back
For more information and support:
Connect to my FREE Facebook group. You'll find plenty of ideas to help you with how to develop emotional intelligence and support you in taking action.
Check out my products https://www.theearlyyearscoach.com/for-parents and book a free discovery call to see how I can help.
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Book a 1:1 coaching session to help you identify the root of the problem and develop your own strategies to support your family.
Get in touch Jo@TheEarlyYearsCoach.com
Coming soon Check out the next blog looking at soothing the anxious minds of our children.
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